Life

Sometimes I wonder if we are ever destined to grow as people. It seems at least to me that we are always held back by our own insecurities and doubts about ourselves. No matter how well things are going or how many things you have to be proud of you seem to always have the ball and chain dragging at your feet. Do I look like a loser to an outsider? Are people talking to me because they are my friends or just because I look alone and they are nice people? Are we forever bound by ourselves?

People ask ‘Are you having a good time?’, ‘Yeah’ you reply. But are you really having a good time? By your standards probably yes, talking to people, catching up, observing, watching people enjoy themselves in their own way. But, by the majority view it appears you are not, you aren’t acting crazy, getting smashed. But is this majority really what it seems? Are they all having fun or are some just so blind they can no longer tell and are others just faking. It must be kept in mind as well that those that don’t really enjoy these kinds of things have a habit of just not showing up...so maybe it is not the real majority at all.

Maybe, we just care too much what other people think of us and judge ourselves by their standards too readily, when we should judge ourselves by our own. Or maybe I’m just getting stressed already about uni coming up and should get some sleep.

I’ll probably just take this post down after I read it in a normal frame of mind.